Rather depressed today

Feeling rather depressed today, lowest I've felt since I got out of the hospital. Hoping it's just raging hormones. Guess we'll see in a day or two if it's still as bad. Could also be because I didn't sleep well last night. The thoughts were racing again. They're not as bad right now, but I can feel them trying to swirl around in my head. Just trying to keep myself distracted with other things.

I've been considering giving the address of this blog to my therapist. Think it may be helpful for her to know what's going thru my mind, but my lack of trust is telling me it probably isn't a good idea to give her access to this information. Guess I'm afraid she'd try to use some of it against me somehow. Suppose I could toss the idea around for awhile. Seeing as she'll be gone for almost 2 months soon, I have plenty of time to think about it.

Today is the first day of autumn. Pretty soon my favorite holiday will be here, that at least gives me something to look forward to. I've always loved Halloween. Can't wait to begin decorating the house. The holiday is now bittersweet for me though. Made the mistake of getting married on Halloween. This year would have been our 13th anniversary.

I did a good job last year of getting past that day without becoming overly depressed or sad, so I'm guessing this year will be even easier. It's not like we ever really did much to celebrate our anniversary anyway. We were always busy taking our daughter & her friends trick or treating. If by some miracle I ever get married again, I won't make the same stupid mistake of doing it on a holiday or any other special day.