Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Personality test

Things have been coming up too fast, I haven't had time to write about the personality test I took on Saturday. All started by doing more research online about borderline. Found the following article:

Andrew E. Skodol, M.D.
John G. Gunderson, M.D.
Bruce Pfohl, M.D.
Thomas A. Widiger, Ph.D.
W. John Livesley, Ph.D., M.D.
Larry J. Siever, M.D.

Figured I'd give it a read since I've heard of some of the physicians involved in writing it. It's not written in layman terms, but I had no trouble understanding it. However, I do take issue with several of the words used throughout it. Words like hypotheses, theories, postulate and consensus. The use of these words just adds credence to my opinion that these mental health "professionals" are still in the dark about mental illness. They are just grasping at straws trying to guess the cause of it, and they are just hypothesizing how to treat it. There is no hard evidence that any of their info is correct.

Even with regards to the research studies that are being done for borderline, they readily admit in their writing that & this is a direct quote "Virtually all of the studies have significant methodologic limitations including small sample sizes; unstandardized assessment methods; insufficient attention to reliability and independence (i.e., blindness) of follow-up assessments; insufficient characterization of Axis I and Axis II comorbidities; variable, typically short, and one-time follow-up periods; and the absence of contrast groups to provide a context for comparisons."

It's all just one big guessing game. How the fuck am I supposed to believe any of their supposed treatments will work when most all of the information surrounding their knowledge of my disorder is based in theory, not fact? I need solid evidence in front of me. I NEED proof. I don't buy into theories. Hell, we can all theorize about anything and everything we want...doesn't mean it's right or that it will ever be proven to be correct. All it is, is just a guess.

So anyway, in the article, they mention several diagnostic interviews and questionnaires for borderline and mental illness in general. I wrote the names of most down and then did a google search to see if I could take any of them online. Most require purchasing the test, which I'm just too damn cheap to do. Seems to me, that if I really am mentally ill, shouldn't at least one of these tests have been administered to me at some point? None of them ever have, least not to my knowledge. Haven't read in any of my medical records where one has either.

I did find one personality questionnaire online that was interesting. It's long, but touched on a lot of different areas, unlike some of the cheesy fake ones you can find online. http://www.transmind.com/personality/ None of the results was anything I didn't really know already anyway. I'm well aware of the fact I have no self esteem and stuff. But it was still interesting to take the quiz.


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