Sunday, April 10, 2005

Examples of my stupidity

The last 24 hours have been...not even sure how to describe them. Fucked up? Suppose that works. The kind of fucked up where you'd like to beat the shit out of yourself for making such dumb ass mistakes.

About 10 pm yesterday my back started aching. Didn't think much of it because it wasn't severe. Just figured I was sitting in my computer chair weird and all would be better once I moved. By 3 am when I finally decided to try and sleep, my back was becoming more painful. Some of the pain also felt like it was radiating from my front, on the right side. Took my regular "calm the crazy bitch down" meds and also took a few ibuprofen for the pain. Soon as I tried laying down the pain became excrutiating. Couldn't lay down and could no longer sit up. I eventually threw up from the intensity of the pain.

I had no idea what was wrong so I drove myself to the emergency room at around 3:45 am. Felt almost as if my kidneys were the cause since most of the pain was in the lower half of my back and it was painful to touch my right side. Get to the ER and stumble in cuz I could barely walk. Neither of the two security guards at the desk even bothered to offer me a wheel chair. Both just kind of looked at me like "why the fuck are you bothering us?". Being in so much pain I didn't have a good response to their rudeness at the time. I have since decided I should have told them "I'm sorry for interrupting your conversation on the pros and cons of buttfucking each other with and without lube, but I'm in a hell of a lot of pain here would one of you fucks help me". I always come up with the good replies after the fact.

Anyway...I sit in the waiting room for about 10 minutes before an intake nurse finally decides to find out what my problem is. Glad I wasn't internally bleeding to death. Of course standard operating procedures require them to take my blood pressure. Soon as the nurse sees the scars she asks what happened. I told her it was none of her business but she kept pressing me for info saying it was a part of my "medical" history. I still refused to say anything other than it wasn't a part of my medical anything because I never received medical treatment for the wounds and it was in no way related to why I was there now.

I ended up sitting in the waiting room for another hour watching ambulance after ambulance pull up. Figured it was a busy night and it would probably be another hour before they could see me so I got up and walked out without being treated. Figured if it wasn't serious enough for me to be delivered to the ER in an ambulance, it wasn't serious enough for me to be there. Should have been smart enough to think of that before even getting in my car to go over there. I'm such a stupid fuck.

Disaster one down, on to disaster two and more stupid fuckness on my part...

So my house has a 2 car garage and we have 3 cars. Since most of my belongings are in boxes in the garage and my parents insist on driving cars that are really boats on wheels... Um, let me pause & ask this question...Why do old people insist on driving such big ass cars? I'll never understand that.

Where was I? Oh my mother has one spot in the garage and I have the other because my car is small enough to fit on the other side with all my crap in front of it. That leaves my father's car out on the driveway. Unfortunately, he can't seem to decide where on the driveway to leave it. So he moves it from side to side and when he parks behind me, he parks far enough down the driveway so I can back my car around it.

Not paying attention as the kiddie and I were running out to the store, I just assumed the other car was parked behind me as it had been all week. I try backing out of the garage by swerving over to the other side of the drive and hit the car. Not very hard as I was backing out slowly, but not only did I hit it, I was so stupid that I couldn't figure out why my car wasn't moving any longer. HELLO SID!! Ya fucking retard, you've just run into another car! This, by the way, is not the first time this I've pulled this stupid maneuver.

So we run to the grocery store. After loading the groceries into the trunk I of course close it and head over to the door to get in the car. Panic sets in when I can't find my keys. I'm worried that I dropped them in the store somewhere, completely oblivious to the fact that I had to have them with me to open the damn trunk just two minutes earlier. Turns out I somehow locked them in the trunk. Must have dropped them in when I wasn't paying attention. Had to call home and ask for someone to bring me the spare key. Felt like a complete fuckhead again.

Three stupid fuck incidents in less than 24 hours. Wish I could say that's a record for me, but it's not even close. Problem is, these are such stupid mistakes I'm making. It's not like me to be this fucking idiotic. Just adds to my self loathing and to the anger that's already been present for the last few days. If I could whip myself to death, I think I'd do it.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

what happened
What are you talking abouttheres nothing wrong?Im not Tm no more.My names Billy and I dont care if you like me or not I like you so tough!!

12:06 AM, April 11, 2005  

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