Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Simply adore her

I did go back to bed this morning. Had a hard time dragging my sorry ass out of bed and just barely made it out to my sister's in time. I simply adore her oldest daughter who is in second grade. For some reason we have a close bond. Probably because I see a bit of myself in her. She's a quiet, shy kid that tends to keep to herself. Her mom can't even seem to get a whole lot out of her, but every time I'm over there, we always have good conversations. Maybe she just appreciates being heard, being treated like she matters. Her younger sister draws so much attention, that at times I think people forget there's another daughter there, including her parents.

I certainly know how that feels. Though I had four siblings that kept everyone distracted from me, not just one. Just as I want to give my daughter what I never had, I want to make sure my niece gets what she needs too. It's the right thing to do isn't it? I'm certainly not trying to replace her mom, but I just want to make sure she knows she has value in this world and to let her know she always has someone she can turn to if she feels like she can't go to her parents about something. Hopefully I'm making a difference in her life.

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. Hopefully the lawyer will call early so I can get some answers in that department. Then I have an appointment at the mental health center to see about joining some groups during the day. After that we have conferences at the kiddie's school and then it's on to swimming lessons. I'm supposed to do something else as well, but for the life of me I can't remember what the hell it was. Hopefully I'll think of it and if not, hopefully it isn't something important.

So much stress. I don't know how I used to deal with it all before when I was holding down a full time job or even two at times. I'd love to turn back time. Though I'd turn it back 38 years and somehow make sure my mother had a miscarriage or something.

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