No change

No change yet in my sleep. Suppose it'll take a day or two or more. I sure as hell hope the change in meds helps. I slept a little more last night, but not enough to make a difference. Tonight I'll have a drink or two before I take the Valium, hopefully that'll give it a more potent effect.

One thing I've found myself doing a lot of lately is talking in my sleep, or more like talking aloud when I'm not quite asleep. I also have thoughts during that time that I could swear are reality. Nothing significant, just conversations it turns out I never had. Last night I could swear the lightbulb in my ceiling fan blew out, but when I got out of bed, they were all still lit.

It feels like I'm losing touch with reality, more than usual. I do worry that I'll lose it again to the point I down all my pills again. But I'm not particularly suicidal. A sick mind is a cruelty no one should have to suffer. Unfortunately, like with any part of the body, the brain can get sick. Question is am I terminal as I believe or is there really hope for a cure, or at the very least a stabilization.

Today I registered my baby for high school. Gawd that sounds so foreign when I say or think about her already being that old. If we don't move and/or she doesn't get into the academy, she'll be in Honors English, Honors Biology, Algebra 3-4, Spanish 1-2, Gym, Orchestra and Photography one semester & Debate the second semester. Normally the kids only get 2 electives, but because my kiddie's grades are so excellent, they let us sign a waiver to skip study hall and have her take 7 credit classes.

She's not required to take any social studies in her freshman year, so she didn't. But at the academy she'd be in Gifted Algebra 3-4, Gifted Scientific Inquiry, World History (a college level course) and World Literature. Not sure what the other 3 classes would be but they'd be regular classes, outside the academy program. Probably Spanish 1-2, Gym and then whatever she wants to take for the 3rd course.

It did sound promising that she'd make it into the academy because the counselor said that with scores as high as hers, she couldn't see why my daughter wouldn't get in. That if she didn't, the counselor thinks they need to rethink the criteria by which they choose admission. We won't find out until January though. Hopefully it'll be good news!! Keep your fingers crossed for her.