Word of the day...

It's been awhile since I did the word of the day, well because I'm too lazy to look up my own words and because yahoo has had some really stupid words the last few times I checked. But today it is:

"ephemeral"

DEFINITION:
(adjective) quickly disappearing; transient.
SYNONYMS:
momentary, brief, fleeting

For me, I frequently get fleeting moments of happiness. I'm not always aware when they happen though because depression has been the supreme ruler of my life for as long as I can remember. But I am vaguely aware that there is happiness there at times. Little things that are so brief you hardly take notice of them. Events that calm the beast of mental illness inside, even if only for a tiny moment. Things like:

Seeing the look of true happiness on my daughter's face. Being out late at night during a snowfall. Waking up after a good night's sleep, when I actually get some sleep. Receiving something in the mail other than past due notices, bills or credit card solicitations. Helping someone else out and feeling their sincere appreciation for it. Acting goofy with my daughter even when I feel depressed so that she will have a good laugh. A nice, hot, triple-shot Venti Mocha from Starbucks. Buying a new pair of shoes.

I know most of those are probably trivial to some. But for those of us with mental illness, even the slightest bit of happiness and calm in our lives is a treasure. Just wish I could notice those moments more often. Sustain the feelings for longer periods of time.