Saturday, January 13, 2007

Needing sex

Like a lot of borderlines, I'm unsure about my sexuality and pretty much always have been. I think over the years it's been about a 70/30 split in which way my sexual interest sways, the 70% being an attraction to men. That indecisiveness doesn't bothered me. Sex is sex and it doesn't matter to me who I'm with as long as they're clean and they know what they're doing or are willing to learn in order to bring me to orgasm.

In my teens & through most of my 20's I had a hyper sex drive. Even managed to hang on to it for awhile after being married. Those jokes they make about marriage killing your sex life are basically true, but there is usually a good reason for it. For me, my sex drive diminished greatly as a result of being too damn tired. Tired from working long hours at multiple jobs. Not just the jobs I got paid to do during the day, but also the additional jobs of raising my daughter and of managing the entire household (cleaning, money management, cooking, etc). When you feel like you're working 20 hours a day, seven days a week, something has to give; and unfortunately it's usually sex because it doesn't have anywhere near the priority of things like food, clothing and shelter. What eventually killed my drive all together were the anti-depressants I began taking back in 2001.

I'm no longer working as much or taking the anti-depressants with that negative side effect, so my sex drive has returned once again to that maddening hyper level. Despite the burning desire to just have sex and knowing I could probably find a guy ready & willing fairly easy even with being my anti-social self, I'm much more interested in women right now. It's harder to find a girlfriend though and dammit, I need to get laid real soon.

I'll probably give in and hook up with one of the guys from group, though the counselors say we shouldn't get involved with each other. I'm not looking for a relationship. I'm just looking for some hot, sweaty sex and once I'm done, I'll be on my merry way. Gawd, I must sound like a whore.

4 Comments:

Blogger broke said...

no, you don't sound like a whore - and it's refreshing to read someone talking frankly like this. And I feel much the same about the 70/30 thing etc.

6:38 PM, January 13, 2007  
Blogger James said...

I agree with broke. You're no whore but if you are then I'm a man-whore. I'm in that 70/30 range too.

I also have that mad hyper sex drive too and masturbate alot (since we're being honest here). I find it more enjoyable for me then sex at this point in my life. Maybe it's because I like being alone. I don't know.

I also like to enjoy porn and have a blog set up for that..hehe. Just head on over to my blog and find it listed with "my other blogs." (or you can just email me if you can't find it).

I have plenty of lady shots on there for ya too. ;)

5:56 PM, January 14, 2007  
Blogger Sorsha said...

I thought it was just me. I am mostly a nympho - 100% for men..so totally straight. I wish I wasn't so straight. My weakness? I like to fuck older men.

6:44 PM, January 16, 2007  
Blogger The Mass Defective said...

Glad I'm not the only horndog in the bunch. Said I feel like a whore because it's much more acceptable for men to have these kinds of thoughts. If more women are having them too, then all the ones I know are keeping hush hush about it.

1:57 AM, January 20, 2007  

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