Payback for being stupid
I am so incredibly pissed off right now I can barely see straight. One of my neighbors came by earlier and asked if I had any beer. I said no and so he left. I didn't think anything of it because I've heard from someone that this guy likes to drink. Likes to drink too much.
About an hour or so later he comes back and asks if he can come in. Thinking he just wanted to talk because he said he couldn't sleep and not feeling he was any kind of threat, I allowed him inside. At first he just asks me if I'd go to his mother's 80th birthday party later this month, which I politely declined. Then he suddenly stands up right in front of me, declares he's itchy and proceeds to drop trou. I kid you not. Nearly right in front of my face. WTF?!?!? I told him to pull his fucking pants up and get out. He didn't even seem to understand why I was pissed off and telling him to leave, but at least he did without me having to get physical or grab a knife or something.
I can't fucking believe this happened. He asked me out once, a few months back, but I thought I made it clear to him that I wasn't interested, AT ALL. Now he has the nerve to try and shove his dick in my face? WTF?!?!? Who fucking does that? I feel like I should tell someone, but I'm not even sure who. My therapist? My case worker here in the building? The cops?
I want to move the fuck out of this place. I don't feel safe here. I don't even know if they'd let me break my lease. So what am I supposed to do? Lock myself inside and be a prisoner in my own apartment? He's not the only one that makes me feel unsafe, he's just been added to the list that seems to be growing on a monthly basis. People I thought were harmless, but have now shown me their true selves and I know I can't trust them. I'm starting to think I can't fucking trust anyone in this building.
Trust isn't even the word I should be using. I know I don't trust any of them. Guarded acquaintances would be a better description for the relationship I have with some of them, since I'm not really friends with any of them except one person, and now I'm doubting that friendship as well even though he hasn't given me any reason to. Guilt by association I guess. Guarded acquaintances and strangers, those are the relationships I have with the other people that live here. Now I'm wishing they were all just strangers. I wouldn't have let my guard down, wouldn't have let this prick inside my apartment. Fuck me for trying to be social and make friends. This is payback for being stupid.