Friday, December 17, 2004

Drank too much

Fuck, I drank half a bottle of jack in under 4 hours last night and sliced the hell outta myself as well. Luckily it doesn't appear as if any of the gashes needed stitches. I remember doing the first 3...it's the other dozen I don't recall doing. But they're there, so I must have. Thing is, I don't even remember drinking that much. The last time I remember looking at the bottle, which is when my dad came to ask me a question & instead made a comment about it not even being 4 pm & I shouldn't be drinking so early; it was still more than half full. This morning tho, there is probably less than a quarter of the bottle left.

Broke a lot of my own personal rules yesterday, as well as at least one law that could have landed me in jail. What a fucking ass I am. My apologies to anyone that received an email from me, please disregard...especially Bruce. I'm not really the psychotic whore I came across as in that email. As I blogged the other day...alcohol + rage = someone's gonna get hurt bad. Just know, I took it out on myself more than I did you.
(FYI...Just need to clarify...TGirl, if you read this, the Bruce that is directed toward is NOT one of the ones from our little home away from home)

Today is the kiddie's last day of school for 2 wks. You'd think I'd be thrilled, but being the horrible fucking waste of space I am, I'm actually dreading her being here all day. I'm hoping she'll make plans to do things with her friends, plans that don't include me having to drive them everywhere. I'm just in a beyond shitty place right now, and it's hard to put on the "happy mom" face. I can do it now because it's only for a few hours each evening after school. But I don't know if I can handle doing it all day, everyday for 2 wks. Guess I have no choice...gotta do it.

Somehow I fucked up my "I hate" blog. Gotta go to the archive to view the most recent post. Hopefully when I add to it next time, things will correct themselves. I have no idea what I did, but that'll teach me to be posting when I'm smashed.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sid,
I got an email from you yesterday, it was fine, though. I am the same way with the kids home all day when I am in a "bad place" (as I often am.). Hope you are better.
Take care of you.
Shannin
(I will forward your email to me back to you.)

12:56 PM, December 17, 2004  
Blogger sasscat said...

kid kid kid, i am in the same titanic..drink too much, eat too much, feel too much , judge too much hate too much...so what are we supposed to do. lay down and die because maybe we are dif than most folks....we are too smart for most of the population and too sensitive, therefore we understand their bullshit....am drinkiing too much at the moment, but you get it. m y email: jewnsioux2@aol.com.......anyone have the guts to respond, i know you do. sioux sasscat

11:58 PM, December 23, 2004  

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